Expectations

Many humans spend a lot of time being miserable because of their perceived Failure To Live Up To Expectations. These expectations can be self-imposed, or can be placed on an individual by society (the media, parents, peers). These social expectations don't even need to be real - in order to feel them, the individual only has to make a judgement about what they think others expect of them.

Some expectations are arguably useful, especially those that involve such things as distribution of chores, being at least civil towards other humans, closing the refrigerator door and so on. But others are simply a load of tripe and actually interfere with the happiness of the individual. For instance,

"I'm x years old, I should be married/on a career path/something or rather by now!"

"I have to give up on my dreams and get a REAL job."

"I must hide my true personality in order to have meaningful relationships."


are some of the "big ones" causing misery to people in your street RIGHT NOW. Of course this is from a particular cultural perspective, but there are probably similarly crippling mind-poisons just about everywhere. These are unreasonable and place constraints on what an afflicted individual can and will do with their short time in this reality.

Granted, some of these expectations are enforced by peer group pressure - ignoring them can have dire consequences. Fear of rejection is potent, especially if an individual has no social alternative. Other times, there is physical or maybe financial coercion involved - behave this way, or you will suffer! This is an expression of an uneven power relationship. Unfortunately, there is not much to be done in these cases - from a self-preservation perspective the only thing to do is bow down and follow the set norms. However, living in this way is not entirely good for preservation of sanity!

Returning to a 'softer' situation, failure to meet expectations (real or otherwise) will not actually result in disaster or loss of life. In these cases, the expectations are probably only inside the head of the individual, implanted through paranoia and insidious whispers of 'normal' from media and other sources. The individual needs to look long and hard at the expectations they place upon themselves, and those they believe others place on them. The expectations that destroy self-esteem, force the abandonment of friends, dreams and interests, and otherwise cause denial of the self, should be cornered and destroyed.

This process can take time. It's a case of catching the expectations in the act of modifying behaviour, and making a conscious effort to defy this malignant programming.

Good luck in freeing yourself!


(This is the beginning of an article I started at Mindcloud Wiki.)